Alchemy Man
by Dracobolt
Summary: When a laboratory accident gives Kraden super powers, he decides to use his powers for good by fighting evil under the guise of Alchemy Man. However the path of a hero isn't always easy. [Collaborative fic by Dracobolt and Joker's Specter]
1. The Hero Awakens

Disclaimer: Neither Dracobolt nor Joker's Specter owns Golden Sun. It belongs to Nintendo and Camelot.

* * *

One night, several months after the lighting of the Elemental Lighthouses and the rebuilding of the village of Vale, the renowned Alchemist, Kraden, was busy conducting experiments in his laboratory. He was very much enjoying himself. It wasn't until recently that he'd had time to himself. Until a few months ago, Kraden had been staying with the Mayor's family because his house was one of the last to be rebuilt. That had been a trial. Garet was more of a nuisance than he had ever been on the trip to save the world. Kraden loved the boy, but more often than not, he had had to restrain himself from wringing Garet's neck. The only compensation for that was that Kraden had been able to be around Garet's grandmother, a lovely woman named Beatrice. Still, it was good to be back in his laboratory, conducting experiments once again. Speaking of which... Kraden took a beakerful of chemicals off of a burner, and set it to cool. He grabbed up a mortar and pestle and began crushing a Psyenergy stone into a fine powder. His phonograph was playing in the background, blaring a lively tune, and Kraden tapped his foot in time to the music. 

He sang along under his breath as he continued his work. He finished grinding the Psyenergy stone and added the powder to the beaker. He continued to let it sit, and moved on to another project. It was good to be back to work. He'd never had any time to do so on the journey. If it wasn't Saturos and Menardi rushing him along, telling him there was no time for that, then it was Felix and the rest of the kids. They were nice enough, but being teenagers, they were prone to whining. Kraden was sure he'd never been like that when he was young. Felix was always moping about, apparently trying to cultivate that angsty pretty boy look that was so popular with the young ladies these days. Jenna, when she wasn't whining about missing Isaac and Garet, was whining about not knowing which one she was in love with. Kraden had rather wished she would just make up her mind. And Sheba was another thing entirely. Apparently being raised as a child of the gods made her quite spoiled because all she ever did was order them all about. And Felix had encouraged her! Perhaps it was the fact that she seemed to have a crush on him. Kraden snorted. Just wait until they were his age!

Kraden went to check on his first experiment. As he did so, his favorite song began to play. Kraden decided that he felt like dancing. He skipped around the lab table, then did a spontaneous bit of tap dancing. Finding this fun, he continued tapping, this time waving his arms about to add to the fun. Unfortunately for Kraden, one of his arms knocked the beaker that contained his experiment to the floor. There was a loud boom, and the house blew up.

* * *

When Kraden woke up, his world had turned upside down. This was because he was hanging upside down in a tree near his house, his robes being caught on the branches. Kraden wiggled around a bit, causing himself to fall out of the tree. Luckily, he landed in some bushes he had recently planted. Unluckily, they were particularly spiky bushes. Kraden was rather put out by this, and his mood did not improve when he saw that his house was a smoking crater. 

"Oh, bother," Kraden grumbled. "I'll bet my icebox was destroyed, too. There goes my nighttime snack of prune juice and rice cakes." He glanced about, then noticed that his small garden was untouched by the rain of debris. Kraden looked over the garden, then picked a tomato. It wasn't quite ripe yet, but he was hungry. Being caught in an explosion will do that to you. Kraden eyed the fruit - or was it a vegetable? He'd have to research that later - with distaste, wishing it wasn't so small and green. To his surprise, the vegetable - or was it fruit? - was surrounded by Psynergy, growing and ripening before his eyes. After a minute, the tomato was double the size of a normal tomato, and quite ripe. Kraden stared at the fregetabuit - his new word for a fruit/vegetable - and then sunk his teeth into it. Not only was the tomato larger, it was also one of the tastiest that he had ever eaten.

As he polished off his snack, Kraden considered what had happened. He'd been experimenting with Psynergy stones, then something had gone wrong, causing an explosion. He'd woken up in a tree, unscathed. Why was he unhurt? And how had he caused the tomato to grow like that? Kraden came to the obvious conclusion: he had super powers. How else would an elderly man like himself survive an explosion that destroyed a newly built house?

Now that he had super powers, Kraden knew that he was obligated to use those powers for good. He would have to become... A SUPER HERO! Kraden struck a pose right in the ruins of his house, not realizing how truly ridiculous he looked. After a moment, Kraden realized that it had to be close to eleven o'clock in at night. It was past his bedtime, so Kraden decided to walk to the inn and get a room for the night. As he walked down to the plaza, Kraden thought about what he should use for a super hero name. The Academic Avenger? Perhaps Captain Kraden? As Kraden reached the plaza, he saw the large Psynergy stone that sat in the center of the area. That design feature had been carried over from the old Vale. Seeing that Psynergy stone gave Kraden an idea. "From now on," he said, "my super name is Alchemy Man!"

"Well, 'Alchemy Man', how about you give us all your money?" a voice asked. Kraden looked and saw that the speaker was a young man. The young man stood with two other men of the same age. They each carried a sword, and it didn't take an intelligent sage like Kraden to figure out that they were going to rob him.

"Now, look here, boys," said Kraden. "I suggest you go away. I don't want to have to hurt you." The three men snickered.

"Yeah, right, old man," said the first man. "Just hand over the money and we won't hurt you."

"I won't be pushed around," said Kraden. "I have super powers!"

The three robbers stared at Kraden, then burst out laughing. "Okay, guys, grab the old fart and tie him up," said the first man, obviously the leader. The two men grabbed Kraden, and he tried to pull free. One man's hand slipped from Kraden's arm and down off his hand. In the process, the man pulled Kraden's finger. Fire shot from Kraden's eyes and burned the man. He let go of Kraden and ran to dunk his head in the pool of water surrounding the Psynergy stone. The other two men stared at Kraden in alarm.

"I told you I had super powers," Kraden said. He concentrated on his two remaining foes and tried to burn them with his mind. Nothing happened. Kraden frowned, puzzled. He quickly reconstructed the events that had led up to the burning. The men had grabbed him, he had tried to pull free, then... Suddenly, he understood. Kraden walked up to the leader of the bad guys. "Pull my finger," he said.

The man stared at Kraden. "This is no time to be joking, you freak," he said, fearfully. "Just leave us alone!"

"Not so fast," said Kraden. "I must verify my hypothesis. Pull my finger." The man reached out a trembling hand and pulled on Kraden's finger. He quickly ducked, and just in time, too, because flames shot out of Kraden's eyes to right where the man's head had been a moment before.

"Let's get out of here!" the lead robber shouted. "I don't want to rob you anymore, mister crazy demon guy! Come on, boys, let's haul!" The robbers took off for the town gate, yelling unintelligibly at the tops of their lungs. Kraden smiled smugly. He'd sure showed those clowns. After a battle, he thought, would be a perfect time to assert his awesomeness with a cool catchphrase. "Evil falls down when Alchemy Man is around!" Kraden said. That was a good first try, he thought, but he would have to do better next time. Perhaps he'd do well to invest in a rhyming dictionary. Also, he'd need to visit the comic book store the next day. It would not hurt to do some research before he made his debut as a super hero. Kraden yawned, then entered the inn. The innkeeper allowed him to stay the night for free, saying that he could pay another time.

* * *

When Kraden awoke the next morning, the sun was shining brightly through the window of his room and the birds in the trees outside were singing cheerily. It was almost enough to make Kraden forget that his house, his research, and his dearest possessions were all ashes and twisted hunks of metal. Almost. Kraden burst into tears and sobbed into his pillow for twenty minutes. Eventually, he realized how hungry he was and decided to go downstairs for breakfast, hoping that he could bum some waffles off of the innkeeper's wife, who did the cooking. Sure enough, Kraden scored some waffles. After eating, Kraden shuffled across the carpeted floor to the innkeeper's desk. 

"Thank you for letting me stay the night," Kraden said. "I really appreciated it."

"Don't mention it," said the innkeeper. "I couldn't have let you sleep in the gutter; it wouldn't have been right."

"Well, I've got some things to do," said Kraden. He shook the man's hand. The innkeeper was instantly electrocuted. "I say," Kraden wondered aloud, "could that have been another super power manifesting itself? I simply must test this discovery!" He shuffled over to a man who was standing by the stairs. Kraden touched him, and the man was knocked off his feet by the powerful surge of static electricity. Kraden clapped his hands in delight. "Excellent!" He looked at the two fried men. "I suppose I should get someone to take them to the sanctum." He shuffled over to the inn's door and, opening it, looked outside. Luckily for Kraden, Isaac was leaving the blacksmith's shop. Kraden called him over.

"What happened?" Isaac asked after Kraden showed him the two men he'd fried.

"Um, I have no idea," said Kraden in the sort of tone that made Isaac instantly suspicious. However, Isaac said nothing, not wanting Kraden to launch into a boring lecture. Kraden's lectures were a source of fear for the young Venus Adept. When he was younger, his mother had often threatened to call Kraden over to lecture him if he did not obey. As a result, Isaac was often rather edgy and nervous in the presence of the older sage. Isaac simply grabbed the innkeeper under one arm and tossed the other, smaller man, over his shoulder.

"Well, urgh, I'll try and get these fellows to the sanctum," Isaac grunted, straining under the weight of the two unconscious men. He nodded at Kraden. "I'll, uh, see you later, Kraden." With that, Isaac staggered out of the inn.

Once Isaac was gone, Kraden strolled over to the comic book store, hoping to find some good resources about super heroes. He spent several hours in the shop, just browsing about, and when he was done, he had found out several useful pieces of information. First, a super hero should never reveal his true identity. So, Kraden would obviously need to make himself a costume. Also, some super heroes had secret lairs. Since his house had exploded, Kraden thought a lair might be a good idea. It would at least be a place to stay. Kraden stayed in the shop until mid-afternoon. After that, he walked to the tailor's shop. There were some clothes on sale there, so he purchased a few things. Like the innkeeper, the tailor allowed Kraden to buy what he needed on credit. The old sage was known to be trustworthy by the people of Vale, so the merchants weren't worried about him ripping them off. Among other things, Kraden bought a pair of blue underpants, red longjohns, and a large piece of blue fabric the same color as the underpants. He returned to the inn, where the innkeeper's wife was now manning the front desk, and went up to his room. Using what he'd bought, Kraden soon fashioned himself a costume just like the ones in the comic books. He put it on, then pulled his robes on over it. That way, he could transform into Alchemy Man at a moment's notice. Satisfied with that day's work, Kraden decided to take a walk around Vale to see if there were any wrongs that he could right. He went down to the first floor of the inn, bummed a popsicle off of the innkeeper's wife, and left the inn.

Kraden strolled around Vale's plaza, idly licking his popsicle, when something appeared on the horizon that made him gasp in horror. Sailing towards Vale was a pirate ship. Kraden was confused. Vale was landlocked. Then, as the ship drew closer, he saw just how it traveled. He gasped again. Those fiendishly clever pirates had put wheels on their ship! The citizens of Vale were panicking, running around, and screaming. The pirate ship stopped right outside the village's gate. Then, the pirate captain appeared on the bow of the ship, and there was silence as all the Valeans gazed at the captain with horror.

"People of Vale," said the pirate captain. "Your doom is upon you!"

* * *

Will Vale be destroyed by pirates? Will Alchemy Man save the day? And just what flavor was Kraden's popsicle? All will be revealed in the next exciting installment of... ALCHEMY MAN! 

Alchemy Man!

Alchemy Man!

Saving the day, he's Alchemy Man!

Evil can't stand before Alchemy Man!

Alchemy Man!

* * *

And that's chapter one, folks. Since this fic is a collaboration between Joker's Specter and myself, the next chapter is going to be written by Joker. If you liked this, be sure and review. Reviews make me happy, and constructive criticism tells me how I can improve. Okay, until next time! 


	2. Alchemy Man versus the Pirates

_**Chapter 2**_  
**By Joker's Specter**

**_I apologize for not getting this written sooner. I've only recently got my urge to write back. I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
_-Joker**

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Golden Sun is owned by Nintendo and Camelot.

* * *

Kraden watched in horror as a large number of pirates slid down ropes from their ship to the ground. Various shouts of "Yar!", "Bwahahaha!", and "Gah! Rope burn!" could be heard as they swung to the ground. Kraden observed that their clothes were dirty and their personal hygiene could definitely use some work.

When they touched the ground, they drew their swords and...ran in circles screaming at the top of their lungs while flapping their arms like chickens.

The pirate captain, who was standing on the bow of the boat-on-wheels, watched in horror, and then quickly glared at his fellow pirates. "Arr! Ye fools! We aren't doin' the 'crazy pirate' routine this time! We're goin' fer the 'coordinated and quick' attack!" he shouted in anger.

Correcting themselves, the pirate crew turned their attention to the houses of Vale and started their attack. They rushed into the nearest ones, breaking down doors and glass and tossing the inhabitants outside.

"Interesting... At least they don't seem to be attempting to hurt any of us...yet," Kraden pondered. He narrowed his eyes when he saw a book fly carelessly out a window, getting its pages shredded as it bounced across the ground.

"In any case..." he continued with his train of thought. "Now is my chance to take my role as a super hero!" He grinned at the thought, which looked odd to anybody who might have looked at him, since his town was being attacked by pirates at that very same moment.

Shoving his popsicle into his mouth, he ran behind a house. The first transformation from mild-mannered and very-intelligent, if he does say so himself, Kraden, to Alchemy Man, the super hero everybody would soon love and embrace as the coolest guy ever, was about to begin. Kraden grinned yet again at the thought. He almost laughed, but remembered about the popsicle in his mouth just in time, and caught himself. He definitely didn't want his first battle to be with a popsicle lodged in his throat.

Very carefully--since they were delicate, and he only had one pair since his house was blown up--Kraden stripped off his robes. He folded them up neatly and set them on the grass next to the back wall of the house.

"Now then... Something else has to change...or it still might be obvious who I am," Kraden thought to himself while sucking on the popsicle. His lips had long since gone numb, but he was too into the super hero thing at the moment to care. He closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to ignore the shouts of horror, breaking class, and yells of pirates around him.

Kraden tapped his forehead in thought, and accidentally nudged his glasses. He paused, and opened his eyes. "Hmm...that's it!" he said, removing his glasses. He remembered seeing a comic super hero who did the same thing, and nobody ever knew who he was when he was in his super hero costume.

Finally! The transformation of Alchemy Man was complete! Kraden blinked a few times, trying to get used to not wearing his trusted glasses. _Perhaps_, he thought, _when I have the time, I can find an alternate way of correcting my vision..._ He shook his head. _But for now, my instincts shall guide me... However, just in case.  
_He slid the glasses into his sleeve. With his vision blurred, Kraden wandered out from behind the house. Once he was sure he had the attention of the pirates--which wasn't hard, considering how easily he stood out with his clothing and awkward movement from not being able to see well--he removed the popsicle from his mouth and spoke out loud to the pirate captain.

"Piwut Captun!" he shouted, instantly noticing something was wrong. _Oh no! My mouth is numb from the popsicle! My speech will be ruined!_ he thought.

Now everyone had their attention on the old man. They didn't see a hero, however. All that they saw was an old man dressed in an odd costume with his underwear on the outside, who obviously couldn't see he was talking to a large tree, and who was speaking very oddly. It was hard not to laugh.

Kraden spun around in circles, looking around and attempting to pinpoint where he was. This action caused his cape to wrap around him, and while attempting to untwist his cape, he fell into the small pool surrounding the psynergy stone in the center of the plaza.

"Bwahahahahaha!" the pirate captain laughed loudly, highly amused at Kraden's actions. "Now _that_ be amusin'! 'Ey, boys, bring that old fool up 'ere! I ain't never seen someone as wacko as 'im!"

-- -- -- -- --

Kraden muttered as he was dragged on board the pirate ship. As soon as his hands were free, he would show the pirates a thing or two!

The pirate captain turned around when his two minions had dragged Kraden up to him. He grinned a surprisingly white-toothed grin. "Welcome! Welcome to me pirate ship, the good ship...uh..."

"I believe the last name we decided on was 'Yaoi', sir," said a young hunch-backed pirate who had dragged Kraden on board.

The captain shuddered. "No! That was before we learned what that be!"

"Oh yeah..."

The other pirate who had helped bring Kraden on board used one hand to hold Kraden, while using his other hand to grab a knife from his belt. He began rapidly slashing into the air, and then started tapping the knife on the wooden deck of the boat.

"S...L...A...S...H... Oh yeah! Slash!" the pirate captain exclaimed. "Welcome to the good ship 'Slash'!"

The pirate, who apparently couldn't speak, sheathed his knife and nodded.

A girlish gasp from the plaza split the air. "Eeeee! Did somebody say 'slash'? How kawaii!"

The men on board paused for a moment, wondering what that was about, before continuing.

"Anyway...ye be a funny old man, yeh know that? You should come an' join my crew of idio--er...gentlemen! I don' give that invitation out to just anybody, ye see."

"Oooh! Oooh! Cap'n Crunch, sir! What about me? Was I special when you told me to join your crew?" grinned the hunch-backed pirate.

Captain Crunch put his palm over his face. "Gah...Foley, yeh idiot, 'ow many times do I have to tell ye to not call me that!"

Foley bit his lip. "Oh, right. Sorry, Cap'n C., I mean to say."

The captain pulled a gun out of his belt and shot Foley in the foot.

"Rule number one," the captain said, turning to look at Kraden, who was still soaking wet, and surprisingly, still grasping his popsicle. It was banana, after all. Banana was his favorite. "Never call me 'Captain Crunch'. I 'ad cruel parents, see. That's why I be a pirate. It's either 'Captain' or 'Captain C.'. Those who break that rule get shot in the foot," he said, pointing to the pirate known as Foley.

Kraden squinted, trying to get a better view of the pirate captain. "Well, sir, I should have you know that I do not intend to join your crew." The scholar was relieved that he could speak properly again. "And, not only that, but in the name of justice, I will drive you and your band of hooligans out of Vale. I recall an ancient Lemurian story about a lone hero who once drove invaders out of Lemuria with just his voice! He led them into the fog surrounding Lemuria and used his voice to cry out horrible things, scaring the invaders half to death. They thought Lemuria was possessed! I am no different, for I am... Alchemy Man!" Kraden paused to take a breath and to attempt a heroic pose. Unable to move his arms, he decided to continue his speech.

"I am the defender of Vale, protector of the men, women, children, pets...even the trees and rocks! The dirt and grass! Every last microscopic molecule of water, even! I am reminded of yet another story, one that occured during my youth. I was just a young little lad, no older than eleven or twelve. I remember I was still wetting the bed at the time, but that's a different story. I'll get to that right after this one. Anyway, my mother gave me a single piece of gold to--"

"Dear Lord, just shut up!" cried the captain. "Ugh, I don't be needin' this! Yer invitation is revoked! Get rid of this old fool!" Captain C. spun around to resume watching the attack on Vale, only to gasp in horror.

Down in the plaza, his pirate crew were getting their butts kicked. Literally.

"Haha, ya like that?" Garet asked, kicking a pirate in the rear as he tried to crawl away. "Yeah, _nobody_ peeks in on my sister in the shower!"

Kay dashed up behind Garet, wearing a bath robe and wielding a frying pan. "_Pervert!_" she screamed, smacking the pirate over the head with a loud _CLANG_.

Throughout Vale, the adepts were fighting the pirates, sending them back to their ship. It seemed as though everyone with the ability to fight had joined the battle. Even little kids were having fun launching rocks at the pirates.

Captain C. was shocked. Then he decided that he should've seen this coming, since his pirate crew pretty much sucked.

"Grr...this is what I be gettin' fer auctioning me crew off of the black market..." he muttered. Kraden's chance to turn the tables arrived when he felt an explosion rock the boat. The two pirates holding onto his arms released him, and he fell to the ground from the blast. The yells of various pirates were coming from all around him.

"Well now," he said quietly to himself. "I assume nobody I know is on this boat, so...I suppose..." He pulled his glasses out from his sleeve and slid them over his eyes. A sigh of relief escaped his mouth.

Leaping to his feet, he pointed his popsicle at the pirate captain's back. "Now that Alchemy Man can see, justice can be done!" he shouted.

For some odd reason, Kraden's hand began to glow dimly. _Hmm? A new power?_ he thought as he watched. The glow soon covered his melting popsicle, and he watched in amazement as layer after layer of banana flavored ice coverd what remained of the popsicle and expanded outwards. Within moments, Kraden had what appeared to be a very large popsicle, about the size of a sword.

The pirate captain turned around, mumbling something about crew insurance, and then widened his eyes when he saw Kraden pointing a large popsicle at his face.

"Um...uh...b-back away! Or I'll...stab you?" Kraden said loudly as he examined the item in his hand. Apparently a new power had manifested itself, but just what was it? _How very odd_, he thought to himself.

Captain C. snarled and whipped out a sword. Reacting to the action, Kraden swung the popsicle weapon at the pirate captain's face as hard as he could. The popsicle smacked against the captain's cheek, hard, and left a slimy trail of cold banana ooze on his face. The force knocked the captain back, and he stumbled over the bow of the boat, tumbling to the ground.

Ivan, who was down in the plaza, heard the cries of the captain as he fell. "_Whirlwind!_" the Jupiter adept shouted, extending his hands outwards to conjure a spinning gust of wind under the captain. The whirlwind caught Captain C., slowing his fall and allowing him to land on the ground with minimal injuries.

Up on board the boat, Kraden was amusing himself with his new popsicle sword. "How very interesting," he said, swinging it around a few times and then poking it. The popsicle seemed hard enough to withstand a decent amount of force.

"Well then," Kraden started to say, "let me see what I can do about the rest of you." He turned around and saw a few pirates rushing around on board, trying to fix the gear and preparing their ship to depart the town of Vale. Isaac and his friends were certainly leaving a message to the pirates.

Kraden gripped his popsicle sword firmly, and jabbed it into the face of a pirate who was running by, chasing a cannonball that he had dropped. "Hyah!" Kraden shouted.

The frozen weapon mashed into the pirates face, smearing it into his eyes. "Graaaagh! _The artificial flavoring! It burns!_" the pirate screamed. Kraden smirked and reached out to press his finger tips against the pirate's arm. A bolt of static electricity shot into the pirate, and he fell to the ground, moaning in pain.

The adrenalin began pumping into Kraden's system, and he went to work doing the same to the remaining pirates. They were all occupied tending to the ship or shouting orders to the pirates on the ground, so they never thought that the "crazy old man" would come up behind them and attack.

Once Kraden had managed to shock everyone to the ground, he felt he had to say something.

"Perhaps you pirates should stick to the sea, hm?" he said before wandering to the edge of the boat. He peeked over the side and saw Isaac and the other adepts tying up the remaining pirates. Garet and Ivan were climbing up the side of the boat-on-wheels.

"Now would be a good time to remove these," Kraden said, pulling off his glasses and sliding them back in his sleeve.

Once the two adepts reached the deck of the boat, they looked around in amazement.

"Huh..." Ivan said, staring at all the pirates who were moaning in pain. "Did that stray fire blast of yours get them or something?"

Garet rubbed the back of his head. "I don't think so. That went in the opposite direction, towards Isaac's house. Which reminds me, we should probably check on that..."

"Greetings, Adepts of Vale!" Kraden said, stepping forward. "I am called...Alchemy Man! It was I who disposed of these evil pirates!"

Garet and Ivan watched as Alchemy Man posed awkwardly.

"Yeah... First pirates with a boat on wheels, and now this. I'm gonna go," Garet said, climbing down the side while shaking his head.

Ivan watched Garet leave, and then turned back towards the super hero known as Alchemy Man.

"I'd shake your hand, but it could leave you in a very painful state," Kraden said. "I must depart now! I trust you and your friends can finish cleaning up this scum, am I correct?"

Ivan cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, sure," he said and watched as Alchemy Man descended the ship's side.

"And I thought Kraden was weird," Ivan said, shaking his head and getting to work.

* * *

_End: Chapter 2_

* * *

_Will Kraden ever find himself a secret lair? Will the other Adepts see through Alchemy Man's costume and figure out that it's really just their friend, Kraden? What job for justice will Alchemy Man have next?_

_Find out next time on **Alchemy Man**!_


	3. Alchemy Man versus the Hit Men

After three years, we're back! Or at least I am. Are you ready, true believers? It's time for another exciting installment of the adventures of Alchemy Man, the superheroic alter-ego of the mild-mannered Alchemist, Kraden. Enjoy!

* * *

It was a week after the pirate attack, and Kraden was busy getting his new home into order. Or, as the pirates would say, ship-shape. That phrase was especially fitting considering where his new home was, thought Kraden, as he stood on a ladder, painting a new name on the side of his pirate ship home, the "S.S. Alchemy Man". He had considered calling it just "Alchemy Man", but he realized that would have been too suspicious.

"Hey, Kraden, need a hand?" Kraden looked down to see Garet, Isaac, and Felix standing below. "My dad said we should help you get your new home fixed up," Garet said.

"Oh, thank you, boys," Kraden said, shimmying down the ladder with a spriteliness that belied his age. "Let me see... I need someone to scrub the floors, and someone else to repair the parts that were damaged during the fight."

"Hey, Kraden?" Isaac asked. "Why are you naming your ship the "S.S. Alchemy Man"?"

Kraden thought fast so that the boys wouldn't get suspicious. "I thought that it was only fair to name the ship after the man who saved the town."

"I thought we saved the town," Garet said. "I didn't see this "Alchemy Man" doing much of anything."

Kraden was indignant. "Just because you didn't see him fighting doesn't mean he didn't. As the old Contigan proverb states, 'One without eyes cannot see.'"

The boys exchanged glances. "Whatever you say, Kraden," Felix said, rolling his eyes. "Let's get to work."

Once the three boys were hard at work, Kraden slipped off to the plaza to purchase a refreshing libation from the local pub. He sat at the bar and purchased a pint of beer and a plate of cheese fries.

While Kraden was eating, three men entered the pub and sat down at the bar near Kraden. One of the men ordered drinks, and while they were waiting another pulled out a piece of paper.

"Here's our assignment," the one with the paper said. "We're looking for some kids named... Isaac, Garet, Ivan, and Mia."

"And then we whack them!" the third man said with glee.

"Yes, but keep your voice down," the man with the paper said. "They live here, and we don't want anyone to hear us and warn them."

"Right, right," said the third man, sounding chagrined. "So, we scout around today and kill them tonight?"

"That's right," said the first man, passing around their drinks. "Four murders, then we're set for life. Dodonpa's paying us good for this job, so we need to do it right!"

"Shouldn't be hard," said the second man, the one with the map. "They're just kids, right?"

"Yeah, but they beat Dodonpa and that monster of his. We shouldn't underestimate them," said the first man.

"We need a plan to find out who these kids are and where they live," said the third man.

"Way ahead of you," said the first man. He took a swig of beer, then leaned in. "We disguise ourselves and pretend we're looking for the kids to give them money."

"Why?" asked the second man.

"They saved our town from something or other and we want to present them with a reward."

"That's a good idea," said the third man. He finished his beer. "Let's get going." The others finished their drinks and they left, one man tossing a few gold pieces on the counter.

Kraden gaped in horror, oblivious to the mashed cheese fries that were visible in his mouth. Those men wanted to kill Isaac and his friends! Kraden thought about warning the kids, but decided not to. Why trouble them when Alchemy Man could easily thrash those hit men?

.'.'.'.'.'.

"Kraden's got a pretty nice place here," Garet said, appraising the sage's living room from the vantage point of a comfortable arm chair.

"Yeah, the other villages really outdid themselves when they donated him all this furniture," Isaac said, sprawled across the sofa.

"... Kraden's coming," Felix said, peering out the door. Isaac and Garet leapt to their feet and began straightening furniture.

"Hello, boys," Kraden said. He looked around. "My, you three must have been working hard. Good for you." He reached into his robes and pulled three gold coins, which he gave to the boys. "A nice, shiny gold piece each for your efforts."

"Thanks, Kraden," Garet said, then added softly, "You stingy old man." Isaac struggled to keep a straight face, having overheard his friend.

"No, thank you, boys," Kraden chuckled. "You did a nice job. Now run along home. It's almost supper time!" He ushered the three teens out of his home.

Once the boys were gone, Kraden threw open his closet. "It's time for Alchemy Man to save the day," Kraden said. "Now where did my costume get to?" The bright red and blue suit was not on a hanger. Kraden began sorting through the mounds of clothes on the closet floor. "I know I hid it somewhere here. Ah hah!" He grasped for a piece of red cloth. Sure enough, it was his costume. Kraden struggled into his costume and pulled his robes on over it. He was ready to go. All he would have to do is take off his glasses and robes.

"Now I need a plan," Kraden said to himself. He sat down in his armchair and began to think.

A few hours later, Kraden opened his eyes. He glanced at his wall clock and groaned, "I must have fallen asleep! I shall have to hurry if I am to save my young friends from certain death!" Deciding that he would make up a plan on the run, Kraden hobbled onto the deck as fast as he could. He was a little stiff from his nap. Disembarking from the ship, Kraden decided to check on each of the four Adepts who were scheduled to be whacked by the Lunpan hitmen. Isaac would be first, Kraden decided.

Kraden darted through the dusky shadows that embraced Vale in the early evening, moving with stealth that a ninja would envy. Well, at least an elderly ninja, anyway. Kraden could be pretty agile if he tried hard enough.

Approaching Isaac's house, Kraden peered around. Nothing suspicious so far. He dove across the lawn and into a bush. Hiding in the shrubbery, he stuck some twigs and leaves into his hair for camoflauge. "And now we play the waiting game," Kraden muttered, his gaze darting around the yard. He played this game for half an hour before sitting in the bush got too uncomfortable.

"Isaac must not be their first target," Kraden said. Groaning and grunting, he pulled himself out of the bush.

Garet's house was next on the docket. Kraden decided against hiding in the shrubbery hereabouts for two reasons. Besides being uncomfortable, he didn't want to risk damaging any of Kay's flowers. Garet said his sister was psychic when it came to her plants, and Kraden did not want his mission compromised. Instead, he curled up on the ground like a rock, hoping for his scholar's robes and the shadows to hide him.

"Kraden, did you forget your way home again?" Kraden started with surprise. He uncurled slightly and looked to see Aaron standing over him, a pail of vegetable peelings in one hand. "Remember, you live on the pirate ship now."

Kraden relaxed. Aaron did not suspect him. Kraden stood up and said, "Thank you, Aaron. I had quite forgotten. Now I won't have to sleep on the ground. Ho ho!" Kraden ruffled the young boy's hair. "Now, let's keep this between the two of us, shall we?" He grinned.

"Uh, sure," Aaron said. He held up the pail and nodded to the compost heap. "I'll just go dump these. Good night, Kraden."

"Good night," Kraden said. He ambled away from Garet's house. He would have to check back there later, but it did not seem that the household was in any danger at the present. Instead, Kraden would go to Vale's inn. That was where the foreign Adepts were staying. He could check on Mia and Ivan in one go.

Kraden reached the inn and was presented with another challenge. He didn't know where Mia and Ivan were staying. He would have to check each room, starting with those on the ground floor. Kraden walked to the side of the inn and peered in the first window. That room was empty, as was the next one. The shades were drawn on the next window, and the fourth was simply too dark to see into. Since most of the inn's ground floor was taken up by the common area, there were only four regular rooms. The rest were on the first floor.

By a stroke of luck, there were climbing vines on the back wall of the inn, and Kraden began to scale them. It was hard work for an old man, and he was huffing and puffing by the time he reached the convenient ledge that ran along the side of the inn. Kraden got back to checking in windows. The first three rooms were all dark and empty. The fourth room was where Kraden struck the jackpot. He'd found young Miss Mia... and she was changing.

"Oh my," Kraden murmured. Mia was just pulling off the first of her many layers of robes. Kraden knew that he'd stumbled onto something he shouldn't be seeing, and he tore his gaze away. However, his footing on the narrow ledge slipped, and Kraden's hand smacked against Mia's window. Mia paused, her shirt half-off, and looked at the window. She uttered a piercing scream. Kraden fell off the ledge.

"Mia, what's wrong?" As he lay on the ground, dazed, Kraden heard Ivan's query as the young man raced to Mia's aid. However, Mia had apparently not yet pulled her shirt fully on, and she screamed again. Kraden heard Ivan yelping, "Sorry! Sorry!"

Through the haze of pain, Kraden smiled. He knew where both of his young friends were, and they were not at the mercy of thugs yet. Gritting his teeth, Kraden pulled himself across the grassy backyard of the inn until he reached the base of a large tree, where he could rest. Not a moment too soon, either, as a trio of shadowy figures appeared around the side of the inn.

"The girl and the shrimpy kid who works for Hammet are staying here," one of the figures said. Kraden recognized the voice as that of the leader of the three thugs. "We'll climb up these vines and slit their throats. You two ready?"

Hissing in pain, Kraden climbed to his feet. It was time for Alchemy Man to prevent a grave injustice from occurring! Quickly, Kraden pulled off his robes and tucked his glasses in the sleeve of his costume.

Kraden spied a vegetable patch nearby. Surely he would find tomatoes or peppers or carrots to throw at the fiends! First, though, he had to announce his presence.

"Halt, evil-doers!" Kraden cried. "Do not think to get away with your duplicitous deed!"

"Who the devil are you?" one of the men asked.

"I am the personification of justice, the light in the darkness! I am the avenging force of Alchemy. I... am Alchmey Man!" Kraden puffed up his chest with the last.

The men began to laugh. "It's some crazy old coot," gasped the third of the three thugs, doubled over with laughter. "This is pathetic! Let's just kill him, too."

"Ha ha, all right," said the leader, chuckling. He drew his sword, and the other two followed his lead.

Kraden sprinted over to the garden patch, scanning it for a good vegetable to use as ammunition. To his horror, he saw nothing. This was no ordinary garden. This was a Herb garden! If Kraden had been in need of seasonings or a mind-altering substance, he would have been in the right place, but now was not the time to get high. Kraden thought about offering to roll joints for the three men as a way of rendering them harmless, but he quickly decided it was too risky. Instead, it was time to match those dastards in bladed combat.

Turning to face the three rogues, Kraden threw back his cloak. Hanging from the waistband of the underwear he wore on the outside were several freezer pops. They were all in their liquid form, but Kraden knew from practice that his popsicle power still worked on them. He pulled two of them from his waistband and used his teeth to rip off the plastic from the tops. Then, with his powers, he formed a strawberry-flavored scimitar and a kiwi-flavored katana. The three thugs stared, open-mouthed. Kraden let out what he hoped was a blood-curdling yell as he leapt at them.

The first thug went down extremely easily. He hadn't thought that an old man with an oversized freezer pop could actually harm him. Kraden almost felt sorry for the man. He would wake up with a major brainfreeze and an earful of syrup from concentrate.

The second thug swung his sword at Kraden. Kraden blocked it with one icy blade and aimed his second popsicle sword at the thug's head, sending the man staggering backwards.

The third thug, the leader, glared at Kraden. "This is pathetic," he growled. Kraden could tell that the man meant business. He swung his sword at Kraden in a flurry of blows that Kraden barely blocked. Kraden was tiring quickly. It was past his bedtime, and he was an old man when all was said and done. At this time of night, he should have been dozing in an easy chair, listening to conservative talk radio.

Finally, the leader of the thugs aimed a particularly viscious blow at Kraden's scimitar, cutting through the freezer pop. He repeated the manuever on the katana, leaving Kraden without weapons until he had a moment to regroup.

"Take this, you pervert!" The leader of the thugs was slammed from the side with a barrage of icicles. Mia, her clothing back on, stood with her hands outstretched, her chest heaving and her face etched with fury. Ivan was busy making sure the other two thugs wouldn't be going anywhere.

"Thank you for your help, miss," Kraden said, dropping the remains of his two swords. "Although I had these evil-doers on the ropes, it was good of you to think of helping. I presume I can trust you and your young friend to see that they are brought to justice?" Mia stared at him, open-mouthed. Kraden assumed she was in awe of his superheroic deeds. "Well, I must be off! Evil may strike at any moment, and Alchemy Man must always be ready to meet it head-on!" With that, Kraden dashed off into the night, leaving Mia and Ivan staring after him, wondering what on Weyard had just happened there.

.'.'.'.'.'.

Reclining in his comfy chair, Kraden gave a contented sigh. As Alchemy Man, he had saved the day, or rather evening, once again. Though he was done with action for the night, Kraden couldn't help but wonder what his next adventure would be. Whatever it was, Alchemy Man would be ready for it!

.'.'.'.'.'.

What will Alchemy Man have another adventure? Will Isaac and his friends be threatened by Lunpan hit men again? Will Mia learn to close the blinds when she's changing? Find out next time on Alchemy Man!


	4. Alchemy Man and Captain Planet

_**Chapter 4**_**  
By Joker's Specter**

Nightfall... It was the perfect time for a devious master criminal to strike. It's also the perfect time for a certain super hero to patrol. Alchemy Man made it a point to bravely explore every nook and cranny to find any trouble! And also bravely scold kids who stay out past their curfew! They didn't like that, but it was for their own good.

And let's not forget how he masterfully saved the cat that was stuck in the tree earlier that night. The little kitten seemed absolutely frightened, and Kraden didn't have the heart to leave it there. After tightening his pants and giving himself words of encouragement, he scaled the tree to save the poor animal. He only had a few claw marks on his hands from that. All in all, a success! Yes, Alchemy Man was doing a world of good for Vale. He dared anybody to deny it, and he had a finger to be pulled for any person who did.

Prowling the roof tops proved the most difficult task that night. He had read it in some of the more popular comics and was intrigued by the act. Heroes would observe the city from above, ever-ready for a fight while they went through constant emotional brooding under the cover of darkness. Kraden decided to try it out, and discovered that, much to his surprise, just standing on a roof made him feel more heroic.

Kraden, in his Alchemy Man guise, crouched behind a chimney and observed the plaza before him with narrow eyes. His cape started moving slightly in the soft breeze. He decided this was as good a moment as any to practice his emotional brooding.

The hero lowered his head and closed his eyes slowly. "That turkey was so dry..." he reminisced of his dinner at the Inn earlier. "I should have sent it back."

He stopped himself from grinning; he was fitting in to this super hero business perfectly! Alchemy Man would soon be a household name. Maybe he'd start seeing Alchemy Man-themed products soon. He couldn't wait to see little kids running around with his image on their clothes. It would probably be a good idea to get a few in his size when they're made before they're all sold out, he decided.

Kraden yawned. The scholar decided it was time for a new rooftop. Very carefully walked to the edge of the roof. Seeing nobody around, he scaled down the side of the house on a ladder he had brought with him. Once he was safely on the ground he grabbed the ladder, dragged it to the Mayor's house, set it up as gently as he could, then ascended to the roof. He failed to notice the cat had climbed back up into the tree.

Yes, he thought. He was definitely fitting in perfectly.

**!-S-P-I-N-N-I-N-G-!  
!-L-O-G-O-!**

Kraden awoke the next morning with with a mouthful of straw.

"Oh dear..." he muttered to himself after spitting the straw out. He strained to get up, popping his back in the process. "Not again."

After mentally scolding himself for a short moment, Kraden decided to let himself off easy. The straw that made up the roofs in Vale _was_ surprisingly comfortable.

He patted the straw and contemplated laying down to sleep for a little while longer. Before he could make a decision, he heard an ear-piercing scream.

"Sure she's the broad?" growled a rough voice nearby.

Whoever was speaking was answered by a softer voice. "Yes. This is her. Be careful."

"Agh! _She bit me!_"

"I said to be careful. Let us escape, quickly. Someone will have heard."

Kraden crawled forward to the edge of the roof and peered over. What he saw was so shocking that he nearly fell to the ground.

Beatrice was being _kidnapped!_

The Mayor's beautiful wife--a wonderful woman, if Kraden does say so himself--was being dragged out the window in her nightgown by two men. And to make things worse, they were using _his_ ladder to commit the crime!

"Come on, woman! Quit struggling!" shouted the largest man, dressed in regular clothing that looked like it had been patched up more than once. He had Beatrice thrown over his shoulder and was trying to climb out the window. Beatrice, putting her strong spirit to use, was spreading out all four limbs and making it impossible for her to fit through the window.

Wearing a clean top hat and a fancy leather vest, the smaller man, who was already climbing down the ladder, cut in. "Don't hurt her. She is valuable."

The larger man put both his feet against the window frame and pulled on Beatrice using his arms. His entire body was hanging out the window as he struggled to get her out.

Suddenly, her grip gave out, and they both went flying out the second-story window. With a loud thud, they crashed onto the ground, Beatrice landing safely on top of the big man's stomach.

"Urgh..." he groaned.

Kraden had had enough of this! He picked the last bit of straw out of his hair and began to climb down the ladder, grumbling to himself about villains these days as he angrily (but carefully) descended. He was going to show them a thing or two.

Beatrice shook her head and stood up in a daze. Once her head cleared and she remembered what was going on, she kicked the big man.

"Oh dear. How troublesome. You are so clumsy, Dak" the smaller man said in a monotonous voice as he watched from a few feet away. He walked up to Beatrice and knocked her in the back of the head, causing her to pass out. His arms snatched her before she could hit the ground.

"Hold it right there!" Kraden shouted from halfway up the ladder. "Don't you dare lay another finger on her!"

The big guy--Dak--finally stood up, brushed himself off and said, "Who's this nut?"

Kraden pumped a fist in the air. "I am Alchemy Man! And _you_," he pointed to the men, "will be a smudge on the bottom of my shoe if you don't unhand her!" He resumed climbing down in his angry-but-slow manner.

Dak and the smaller man exchanged looks. Dak shrugged, walked up to the ladder, and pushed the bottom forward so that it teetered off-balance.

"Whoa--waah!" Kraden yelled as the ladder started tipping backward. Down below, the smaller man ordered Dak to pick up Beatrice, and they began to run away, taking a side path toward the Plaza.

Kraden held perfectly still. He managed to balance out just enough to keep the ladder standing perfectly straight up and down in the air. He didn't dare move a muscle for fear of tipping over. Just as he was working out the best solution to getting down safely, a perfect example of bad timing occurred.

"Aaaa_choo!_"

Following his rather loud sneeze, the ladder toppled backward, sending Kraden right into Kay's flower bed.

"Oh no!" Kraden exclaimed in pain. "If I know Kay...her sixth sense will be kicking in any moment now. I have to get out of here!"

He hastily pulled himself out from under the ladder and hauled butt out of there before Kay would become yet another arch-nemesis of his.

**!-S-P-I-N-N-I-N-G-!  
!-L-O-G-O-!**

Kraden was fuming. Never before had he seen such a mockery of justice! Well, except perhaps when he himself had been kidnapped along with Jenna. But that turned out beneficial in the end. What good would come of kidnapping Beatrice?!

Having started to wheeze heavily, Kraden slowed down for a bit and pondered on the situation. Beatrice... He had quite the soft spot for her. Sure, she was married to the Mayor, and she was Garet's grandmother, but Kraden couldn't help it. She was sharp as a tack, and Kraden always seemed to feel a little giddy when speaking to her. The stories she could tell always grabbed his attention to the fullest, and nobody else in town could give him such interesting conversations.

Kraden used his own high intellect to deduce that the kidnappers went towards Vale's only exit. After all, that was the direction they ran. After finally making it out of Vale, he had to stop and rest for a bit. It pained him to do so, but the white spots he was seeing couldn't be a good sign.

While he was regaining his strength, he heard a familiar voice singing softly. Kraden turned to look down the road to see Piers approaching from the direction of Vault. Kraden seemed to remember that Piers had an errand to run in Vault, and he seemed to be returning to Vale.

"_Perfect!_" Kraden said, leaping to his feet.

The sudden outburst surprised Piers, who just now noticed Alchemy Man. "Oh, hello there," he said after he collected himself. He scratched his head and wondered how he had not seen the colorful man right away.

Kraden had no time to exchange pleasantries. "Piers, carry me!"

Piers reeled back as the fierce Alchemy Man approached him. He barely heard the demand. "What?" was all he could say.

Kraden let out an irritated sigh and tried to climb on Piers' back, who was turning around and keeping his back _away_ from the super hero, as if his life depended on it. "We have to save Beatrice, the Mayor's wife! There's no time to talk--I'll explain on the way!"

"But why do you need me to carry you?" Piers asked, perplexed at the whole situation.

Alchemy Man jumped onto Piers. "_No. Time!_" he exclaimed, and he kicked his heels into Piers' sides like a horseman riding his steed. Except, instead of galloping off after the kidnappers, Piers grunted in pain and collapsed.

"Ow! Get off you crazy man!" Piers yelled.

Kraden forced himself to calm down. He decided to use his scholarly intelligence and super hero magnificence to try and correct the situation. Climbing off of Piers, he cleared his throat. "My dear man, we haven't much time. A damsel in distress awaits us, and I don't know what will happen if we don't save her quickly!"

Climbing to his feet, Piers brushed himself off and held his side. "Okay, I understand that part," he said with a hint of irritation. "And I'm willing to help. But why do I have to carry you?"

Clearing his throat again, this time out of hesitance to speak, Kraden fiddled with his cape in an embarrassed manner. "Well, you are quite strong. I'm afraid stamina isn't one of my abilities, and I don't have much hope of catching up to them," he explained, not meeting Piers' eyes. It ashamed him to say that, mostly because he knew that Piers was quite possibly older than himself.

Piers sighed, not knowing what he had walked into. "Well, okay... But no kicking."

Kraden allowed himself to smile and nodded. "It's a deal. For the time being, consider yourself Alchemy Man's sidekick!"

Raising an eyebrow, Piers said, "Sidekick?"

Acting oblivious, just in case Piers decided to challenge him for the role of leader, Kraden instead climbed on Piers' back. "Now, what shall I call you?"

Sighing again, Piers reached back to secure Alchemy Man and then ran off towards the kidnappers using Alchemy Man's guidance, wincing when the hero shouted, "Onward, Seabiscuit!"

**!-S-P-I-N-N-I-N-G-!  
!-L-O-G-O-!**

"Captain Planet it is, then!" Kraden announced.

Piers hadn't even heard the rest of the one-sided conversation that led to the nickname for him. He was too busy concentrating on running and not passing out. Carrying an old man was much harder than he thought.

Alchemy Man rubbed his hands with glee, causing Piers' head to shake in the process. "Yes, this is wonderful! Alchemy Man and Captain Planet, the _Paragon Pair!_ Or maybe... _Dauntless Duo!_"

Piers moved his head. "Stop that."

As they burst out through some trees, they suddenly saw a small group up ahead in the field, heading towards Lunpa.

"Th...that's them!" Alchemy Man shouted in Piers' ear.

Flinching, Piers sighed in relief. A few quick moves to defeat the thieves then he could get out of there. The life of a super hero's sidekick wasn't meant for him. His back ached far too much. He felt more like a vehicle than a super hero.

"Increase speed and ride up beside them!" Alchemy Man demanded, gripping Piers tighter. "We must not let them get away!"

Piers gasped for air, but tried to pick up more speed anyway. Just a few more moments and he'd have the unwelcome company off of his back...

As they came within earshot of the group, Kraden observed the situation. The two men who had kidnapped Beatrice were jogging towards Lunpa. Beatrice was unconscious and slung over what Kraden understood to be Dak's shoulder.

Kraden didn't have time to figure out what Lunpa would want with Beatrice. "_Halt, evildoers!_" he shouted with a voice he rarely heard from himself. It sounded stronger than usual. He smiled inwardly--he felt more and more like a super hero ever moment.

The pair of villains turned around. The smaller man narrowed his eyes and said, "It looks like it couldn't be avoided."

"Jason, you want me to beat them up?" Dak asked, setting down Beatrice and flexing his muscles.

The man called Jason removed his top hat and ran his hand through his balding hair. "Would you two be willing to surrender Vale for this woman?" he asked loudly as he replaced the hat on his head. "That is the deal our employer intends to make. If you make it now, it will save us time."

Kraden grit his teeth together and jumped off Piers, much to the Lemurian's relief. "I have a better idea--you give us Beatrice, and we'll spare you from a particularly nasty beat-down!"

He said it with such fury that he wasn't even sure it came from himself. Once the moment passed, he turned to Piers and whispered, "I've always wanted to say something like that!"

"That is not acceptable," Jason said in his usual monotonous voice. He turned around and added, "Dak, you may deal with them as you like."

Kraden was upset. Not only did his speech not inspire the men to relent--_he_ thought it was good--but it seemed like the smaller man didn't even think they were worth watching anymore! Everything was adding up to fuel the fires of Alchemy Man's rage. Beatrice being kidnapped, Kraden's exhaustion from running (though he did feel much better now), the men rejecting his deal, and now not even acknowledging him!

As young Garet would always say, it was _on_.

Kraden reached for one of his freezer pops, but Dak was already moving. He ran forward, yelling at the top of his lungs, threatening to barrel into Kraden. That was something Kraden would've rather avoided, so he was quite pleased when Piers jumped in between the two of them with his sword drawn.

Dak didn't have a weapon of his own, so he slowed down and stopped. That small moment of hesitation was all Piers needed.

"Frost!" Piers exclaimed, raising his hand. Kraden immediately recognized it as one of the Lemurian's lower-level spells. Still, he knew it would be quite effective. Chilly air rushed around them all, and soon crystals of ice began forming at Dak's feet.

The larger man's teeth began chattering as the ice climbed up his body, engulfing him. "H-hey! Stop th-this!" he pleaded.

Piers marched forward and gave a roundhouse kick to the frozen man's head, knocking him unconscious to the ground. He took a deep breath and ceased the spell, making the ice thaw rather rapidly into pools of water.

Jason turned around and raised an eyebrow. "I see. You have dispatched him," he said with a slight hint of amusement in his voice.

While Piers had certainly done a good job, Kraden couldn't help but have mixed feelings. Beatrice was _his_ damsel to save. So far he hadn't done anything that would warrant him getting the recognition as the hero. His eyes immediately glanced at her unconscious body.

"I suppose this is where I have to step in," Jason said, reverting back to his regular tone. He pulled off his top hat and reached into it.

Having seen his fair share of festivals featuring magicians, Kraden expected to see Jason pull out a vicious white rabbit. Instead, the skinny man revealed a contraption that actually looked like it shouldn't possibly fit in his hat. Kraden's mind was boggled--he thought he'd seen just about everything.

"This is my patent-pending Rapid Firing Sleep Bomb Gun. Or just The Sleep Gun," Jason said. The so called "sleep gun" looked to be quite intricate all around, but Kraden's focus was on the container that looked like it carried a lot of sleep bombs at the rear of the gun.

Piers stuck his hand out towards Jason, uttering the words for his next spell. However, before the Lemurian could finish, Jason pulled down on the trigger.

"Piers, look out!" Kraden shouted. He ran to push his sidekick out of the way, but he was too slow. Wave after wave of sleep bombs pelted Piers and the ground around him, sending up pink smoke everywhere. When the smoke cleared, everything within a few feet of Piers was covered in pink. Piers himself looked like he blew up some bubblegum in his face. Several times.

Kraden's fears came true when Piers yawned, wavered on his feet, then fell backward. The momentary silence in the field was then broken by the Lemurian snoring.

"Now for you," Jason said with no facial expression. He aimed the gun at Kraden and pulled the trigger. "Good night, 'Alchemy Man'."

Kraden was pelted with several sleep bombs. He made a point to cover a hand over his crotch, seeing as how it hurt a lot to be hit with sleep bombs and the man's aim seemed to be all over the place. The scholar also had to cover his eyes because, well, he had a hard enough time seeing without pink smoke in his eyes.

When the firing stopped and the smoke settled, Kraden blinked a few times and stared at Jason. "That was extremely rude of you," he said angrily. "And I believe it's my turn."

Feeling quite bold, Kraden whipped his cape behind him and walked right up to Jason, who looked stunned. Kraden took pleasure in the man's frightened and confused expression--he hadn't seen anything else make Jason's face change from its normal passive state.

"H-How?!" Jason stuttered.

Kraden reached out and touched Jason's hand, zapping him until he fell over. Stepping on the man's chest, Kraden crossed his arms and revealed his secret for staying awake.

"When will you villains learn. I'm a non-playable character; Status Effects don't work on me!"

With that said, Kraden gave a grin of justice and reached down to zap Jason unconscious.

**!-S-P-I-N-N-I-N-G-!  
!-L-O-G-O-!**

Piers rubbed his head as he trailed behind Alchemy Man and Beatrice on the way back to Vale. He wasn't quite sure what happened after he had passed out. All Alchemy Man would say is that "Justice had been served, and the damsel is safe." He then told "Captain Planet" that he would have to work harder next time.

Clearly the old man was getting a kick out of this super hero thing.

"I must say, Beatrice, you sure gave those men quite a beating when you woke up," Kraden said as he turned to smile at the woman beside him.

Beatrice's eyes hardened. "I had to give them a reason to think twice before attempting that again."

Kraden squinted as he tried to take in all of the detail on Beatrice's cute face. "Haha, yes, I dare say they'll think twice before even mentioning your name again!"

"Alchemy Man... I must thank you again for saving me!" Beatrice said, practically swooning.

Piers suppressed a cough and turned his attention elsewhere.

"You're most welcome," Kraden responded with a bow.

"I just _have_ to give you a reward!" she said immediately. "Anything at all, it's yours! I could be dead if it weren't for you."

Kraden thought hard about that. Would they have killed her? This super hero business was getting quite serious. He would have to do better next time, too.

"Anything, hmm?" he replied. Placing his hand on his chin, he pondered on what he wanted that she could give.

"Yes, of course. Well...within reason," Beatrice added. "I can't hand over the deed to Vale, after all," she joked.

Kraden smiled. He knew exactly what he wanted. "How about a date?"

Beatrice nearly fell over. "E-Excuse me? A date? Us?" she stammered.

"I would like nothing more than an evening with you," Kraden stated sincerely. "Just one date, and I will be a perfect gentlemen as well."

"But... I'm married!" said Beatrice. She blushed lightly.

"You have my word I will do nothing more than enjoy your wonderful company."

Beatrice stared at her feet. "Oh, I don't know... I suppose if...well, if it's just as friends..."

Kraden gave a warming smile. "If that's how you wish it to be, then that's how it will be."

Beatrice hesitated, but then returned his smile. "Oh, heck, it sounds like fun. It's not every night a woman gets to spend an evening talking to a super hero. If that's what you want as a reward for saving my life, then that's fine by me," she said with a renewed sense of excitement in her voice.

"Excellent!" Kraden said, grinning widely. She just made him the happiest super hero around. "How does tonight sound?"

Retaining her smile, Beatrice gave a quick nod. "That's perfectly fine. Can you pick me up at 7?"

Kraden had to hold back his excitement. He wanted to appear professional. Mature. Charming. "I'll be there right on time, my lady," he said as he gave another bow, causing Beatrice's blush to return.

Piers decided to take the long way to Vale.

**!-S-P-I-N-N-I-N-G-!  
!-L-O-G-O-!**

Later that day when they arrived in Vale, Kraden was happy to see a search party led by the Mayor. They had been searching for Beatrice frantically, and were overjoyed when the pair walked through the entrance. After accepting the the gratitude of the Mayor and several other villagers, Alchemy Man parted ways with Beatrice and headed home to prepare for his date. He figured he would have to wear his costume, and it needed to have all the pink washed out of it, so the scholar did his laundry first thing.

The Sleep Gun had taken up the rest of his attention before the date. Kraden almost lost track of time and had to rush to get ready. It actually was quite a fascinating device, and he was happy he brought it along with him. After studying it for a while, it made him realize that he had been missing a very important part of being a super hero.

Gadgets. He needed lots and lots of gadgets. Something for _every_ situation. What would he do if he had to scale a cliff? Or how would he unlock a door he might need to get into? He wasn't the Master of Unlocking. He would probably need a utility belt of sorts, too. Or maybe just a bag to carry them in--he would work out the finer details some other time.

Despite losing track of time, he still managed to leave an hour early, as he intended. The pirate ship-on-wheels that served as his new home and lair had quite a few interesting things on it that Kraden had made use of. One of those things was a smaller boat-on-wheels that was lowered down the side. Earlier he decided it would be his temporary Super Hero Vehicle until he could find something better. He even painted it to match his costume's color scheme. It looked spectacular.

Grabbing the oars, he rowed the boat all the way to the Mayor's house. It took a while, and he had to get out at some points to pull the boat up some steps, but he managed to get there only fifteen minutes late. It ended up working out perfectly though, because Beatrice was old-fashioned and timed herself to be fifteen minutes late getting ready anyway. She had just stepped out of her room when a panting, wheezing, sweating Alchemy Man knocked at the front door to the house.

Garet shambled lazily toward the door to answer it, but Beatrice ran ahead of him and answered it instead. Garet shrugged and went back to sit down.

"Your...chariot...awaits...my lady," Kraden gasped when she greeted him. With a shaky hand he pointed back to the boat he had parked in front of her house.

Beatrice looked from Alchemy Man to the boat, and then back to Alchemy Man again. "It's a nice evening... How about we walk instead?"

Kraden was more than happy to comply. After spending a few moments catching his breath and admiring how beautiful Beatrice looked in her dress, he held out his arm for his date and the two of them walked down to the Plaza. The moonlight lit up the town of Vale brightly, and the temperature was absolutely perfect. It didn't take long for all of Kraden's energy to return in the peaceful setting.

The date that Kraden had planned wasn't anything unique. It was a simple, nice dinner at a restaurant, accompanied by a band. Ever since the Adepts' grand adventure, Vale had become quite the hot spot, and new buildings and businesses were appearing almost every month. The restaurant Kraden took Beatrice to was only recently built, and still quite popular. Still, he managed to secure a table in the front near the band after he promised the manager he'd do a patrol outside the restaurant a few times every night.

Being a super hero had wonderful benefits, Kraden mused.

The band was pretty good from what he heard when they walked in, but all of Kraden's attention was on his beautiful date once they sat down. He was engrossed in her stories. She knew much on the history of Vale, not to mention quite a bit about Weyard itself. Kraden even found himself delighted to hear tales of her youth. In return, Kraden told her stories that wouldn't give away his identity. She found some of them to be hilarious, and Kraden discovered that not only was her smile infectious, but her laugh was to die for. His cheeks were aching in no time.

As time passed and they ate their dinner, Kraden was starting to dread the end of the date. He was having so much fun. He began to wonder if he could convince her to go on another date. Possibly a picnic or a play. Beatrice seemed like the type who enjoyed a good show.

While he was formulating a plan to ask her for a second date, he couldn't help but catch the ending verse of the song the band was singing. It was so sudden that he almost missed it, but Kraden had trained himself to pay attention to the smallest of details. Adrenaline began to course through him as he realized what the singer was singing about.

"_It's time for your downfall; time to put your cape away. Alchemy Man's life will end; it's time to start the fray!_"

Kraden immediately turned in shock to look at the singer, and gasped when the man pointed at the super hero and made a cutting motion across his throat.

_End: Chapter 4_

_What's going on? Is the band an enemy of Alchemy Man? What dangerous situation has Kraden walked into with Beatrice, his beautiful date? And just what is the band called, anyway?_

Find out next time on _**Alchemy Man!**_


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